There was this man, a foreman in the tool room in the factory where I joined as a probationer only a few months after coming out of college. He was a well built, flamboyant Anglo-Indian of about 58 years at that time who had a very poor opinion of young engineers who, he thought, knew nothing and he with practically no education to talk about was knowledge personified. He was a good person with plenty of practical knowledge about machines because of his long experience in the factory and I would consider him a jolly good chap in most ways, but for his boasting of superior knowledge. He would ask us questions for which he would find our answers unsatisfactory and then pronounce the correct answer with great relish. One of his pet questions was to define a screw. He would find all our explanations lacking and then take a long breath to give a lengthy definition from the books which he had learned by heart!

A fairly well known classical singer of Carnatic music was one of the distinguished guests in one South Indian gathering in Mumbai. Many in the gathering were experts in Carnatic music and an animated discussion on Carnatic music followed. Some of the guests requested the maestro to give a rendition of the song “Saroja Dala Netri” and he obligingly gave a fairly elaborate rendition of the same, which was enjoyed by every one and the room exploded with thunderous applause after that. Discussions continued and after a little while, a prominent personality in the gathering raised his hand and requested the maestro to give a rendition in raga “Shankarabharanam”. Everyone in the room stopped talking and with a stunned look on his face the maestro told him that he had just finished the song “Saroja Dala Netri” in Shankarabharanam Raga and soon there were muffled noises of suppressed laughter in the crowd. The gentleman could have apologized for the mistake explaining that he meant another Raga or Song but unfortunately he did not know the name of another Raga and he looked very foolish and sat quietly until he left the room when others resumed their discussions. The gentleman must have really felt very small after the foolish fiasco!

Recently, a group of people, all from the same family (except one), formed a club for promoting ancient dance forms of Kerala. The inauguration of the club was done on a grand scale by a famous film personality and danseuse of South India. The office bearers, all of the same family, introduced themselves as great exponents of not only different forms of dance and music of Kerala but also Hindustani music and Western music and Flamingo too!! Their expertise extends to Astrology and Ayurveda too!! All this, they declared, they were doing for the pure love of the dyeing art forms of Kerala without any profit motive at all. To what extent one would go for the sake of publicity and popularity! One is reminded of Bernard Shaw’s Character Freddie in the play “Pygmalion” who poses and flaunts around as an expert in phonetics after learning bits and pieces of the subject from Prof. Higgins!!!

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Sivan Kutty was an accountant for 30 years in a British company. He joined the company in his early twenties, after failing to qualify as a chartered accountant in UK. He married a Scottish girl in UK and moved to India in early sixties to work as an accountant in the company’s Hyderabad plant. In the early days life was a struggle for him, having produced two children in quick succession and needing to maintain the wife of foreign origin. Life being such a struggle, he firmly declined when his mother asked him to send her a few hundred rupees for her maintenance every month (his mother, a wealthy woman, was now a little short of money as she had divided and given all her family money away to her children – Sivan Kutty and his siblings, of which you are to meet the sisters Janu and Sita soon).

Being free of such encumbrances, Sivan Kutty worked steadily and cultivated influential people for which his wife of foreign origin was an asset. Being an accountant he knew very well that a price has to be paid for every gain. If you knew the price and prepared to pay it, yes the gain is yours! In those days there was no moral dilemma! And Sivan Kutty crawled steadily up the corporate ladder to become a director by the time he retired with a comfortable savings and retirement benefits.

One day, his family ties got the better of his usual thrift and Sivan Kutty decided to have a third drink and also made the momentous decision to save the souls of his wayward younger generation and dialed the number of his dear sister Sita (who he had hated for many years but had now become an asset on his moral balance sheet) in Chennai. Sivan Kutty announced the decision to Save the life of their elder sister Janu who was living with her son Venu in Coimbatore………. Of Janu’s daughter Parvathy and her relatives I have written in one of my earlier posting “Bitching! Bitching!! All the way!”

Janu, Parvathy’s mother, is 85 years old, and was widowed over 30 years ago. She has lived the best part of these 30years with Parvathy in Mumbai or Venu in Coimbatore, as she felt unable to live on her own. The family property was sold and unlike Janu and her siblings, who had taken their individual shares from their widowed mother without a pang of regret, Parvathy and her brothers invested their shares of the family property for Janu’s use. Because of Parvathy’s thrift and resourcefulness Janu’s investments had grown sizeable in 30 years.

For Janu is lavish in her ways, being the daughter of a wealthy man and then the wife of a wealthy man. Janu is also easy to manipulate and financially illiterate. Despite this, Janu has been able to live a fairly lavish life as a widow, because she has lived with and been supported by her daughter or son, spending the income from the family property mostly on her lavish ways.

This situation has caused a dilemma for Janu’s sister Sita who I have in my earlier post referred to as Parvathy’s “wicked aunty.” Sita, who is also lavish like her sister, has frittered away her share of the family property, and continues to live lavishly on the largesse of her long-suffering sons.

But Sita thought that it was her bounden duty to enquire about (or interfere with) the welfare of her widowed sister and put several questions to Janu – innocent talk at first, acknowledging her good fortune to have such good daughter and son and daughter-in-law. Over a period of time, Sita’s questions became loaded, giving hints to Janu that she could certainly lead a better life (like herself) and not be a slave of her children (who ensured that Janu did not fritter away the family money like Sita had done). She incited Janu to take charge of her own affairs and handle her financial matters herself.

Slowly Janu, whose intelligence was below average even in her youth started to believe that her Daughter-in-law was not giving enough respect and attention. She became moody and querulous often and causing strained relationship with her son Venu, d-in-law, their children and Parvathy too. Parvathy always sympathized with Venu and his wife who were doing their utmost to make Janu’s life as comfortable as possible but Janu remained disgruntled all the time. Cunningly incited by Sita, Janu started attacking her son and d-in-law and daughter Parvathy too.

A little history first. Though it was very difficult for Parvathy to accommodate Janu in her small flat in Mumbai, Janu stayed with Parvathy for a good part of the first 15 years after her husband died. After Parvathy’s husband retired from service and her two daughters got married, Parvathy and her husband shifted to a bigger house in Bangalore. Due to health problems and advancing age both Parvathy and her husband were not in a position to keep Janu any more. So Janu has been staying with Venu in Coimbatore for the past 15 years.

Sita had convinced Janu that her daughter will not keep her because her husband may not want her in the house and that earlier they accommodated her in their small flat in Mumbai because they wanted to use her money. Janu was always used to be treated with kid gloves because her late husband was a highly respected person and she basked in his glory. Janu (at 85!) became emboldened by Sita’s machinations to tell her son that she wanted to live separately - which was not feasible, given her meager income and lavish life style.

This was the moment Sita waited for and when Sivan Kutty phoned her from Hyderabad she did a buck and wing and said to herself “Now the fun will start. The waiting was not for nothing!!” Sita immediately phoned Parvathy’s sis-in-law in Singapore (who hated Parvathy from the time Parvathy’s brother married her) and sang to her that the time has come to teach Parvathy a lesson. Soon the plan was unfolded – Janu was to quarrel with Venu and his wife and ask Parvathy to put her up in her house in Bangalore, knowing well that she has expressed her inability to do so.

Next Sivan Kutty and Sita would bring Janu to Bangalore under some pretext and accommodate her in a separate home. Then they would tell Parvathy that it was her moral duty to accommodate her poor mother who was living alone and Parvathy (worried about what others would say) would be forced to take her in. If Parvathy refused, they would ask her to transfer the capital amount of the family money which was held in trust by Parvathy to Janu under the pretext that Janu needed the money to run her separate house. Then it was just a matter of time before they could prey on simpleton Janu and scoot with the money!

A grand plan, but Parvathy stood strong and asked Sivan Kutty and others who engineered the whole plan to go to hell and look after her themselves. They threatened Parvathy with legal action to get the money from her. Parvathy did not budge. Nothing happened. By then, Sivan Kutty and Sita were getting fed up with Janu’s constant complaints and lavish ways. Quickly they took Janu back to Venu’s house in Coimbatore.

Moral of the story is that when you do not have any morals to speak of, you should not preach. Neither Sivan Kutty nor Sita ever bothered to look after their parents in their old age when they were in need and suffering but they had to preach ‘duty’ and ‘moral obligations’ to Parvathy who without anyone’s prompting had done her duties by her parents and others. But when pushed to a corner by scheming relatives she stood by her convictions daring them to take whatever action they wanted to take, and not buckling under pressure or threats.

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One should not take the senior citizen’s protection law (if that is the name given to it) too seriously and go on demanding more and more from the younger generation. Leave the young ones alone because they have to cope with a lot more stresses of the present day life style, than you ever had. What the older generation has to learn is to discard desires and expectations. Well then that is another discussion which will go on endlessly!!

Alamelu Ammal aged 82, traveled alone from the US and arrived at the new Bengaluru airport around 9 AM in the morning. Though her son living in Chicago had given detailed instructions to her on how to go about the new airport, the long flight played hide and seek with her memory and she was nonplussed and disoriented. She decided to wait for her son to come and pick her up from the air port and she sat on a comfortable chair and went to sleep! Deep sleep!

She woke up around 2 PM and went into a flutter. She thought that she was in Singapore air port and panicked. Some one helped her to call her son in US and talk to him. He told her to take a pre-paid taxi to go to the city.  The taxi left her at her apartment but she could not open the front door and therefore sat on the stair case for a breather. Again she dozed off until someone tapped on her shoulder and woke her up. She started asking for her son who, she thought accompanied her from US. She told the stranger that she took a taxi from Singapore airport and paid $600/- taxi fare. The stranger somehow opened the door for her and she went inside dragging the baggage. She could not stay inside for long because the apartment was locked for over six months and she could not stand the stink of dead rats in the house.  

The problem with Alamelu Ammal was that in her old age she had become crabbed. She was a widow for more than 18 years and living a frugal life on her husband's pension, when suddenly fortune smiled on her.  She sold her small plot of land with the shabby old house for about thirty million Rupees and that turned her life upside down. The sudden wealth made her insecure and crabbed. She thought that all her children and other relatives were after her money and became very quarrelsome with them. She went to US to live with her son but could not stand her daughter-in-law. So she fought with her and took a flight back to Bangalore within six months. In her old age she wanted all that she was not able to afford when she was young. She bought a diamond necklace for about one and a half million. She went on a spree of buying Kancheepuram silk sarees and expensive dresses which no one would wear at her age. She would eat all kinds of food from restaurants and become sick and so on. All in the hope of finding happiness! Because of her insecurity and suspicion of others she did not have any friends and even her close relatives shunned her!!

This is the case with many senior citizens today. Parvathy’s wicked aunt (about whom I have written in my earlier posting “Bitching, bitching all the way.”) is nearly 80 years old and she is on a binge. She is wicked and jealous of any one and every one including Parvathy. In her old age she has made her sons buy a luxurious house for her in Kerala which she has furnished and refurnished at least four times in the past eight years, each time after seeing some one else’s house better furnished! She wears padded bras and goes to the beauticians for facials. Till the age of almost seventy years she never went to a beautician or wore luxurious dresses including padded bras!! Though by nature she was wicked even during her youth, she has become more so in her old age. She caused rift between Parvathy and her brother by joining hands with Parvathy’s sister-in-law, who is even more evil than the aunt and was a sworn enemy of Parvathy from very beginning! Parvathy’s mother has also come under the influence of the wicked aunty who has fed her all kinds of wrong ideas about how to deal with sons and daughter and caused differences between Parvathy and her mother (86 years old) and spread all kinds of canard against Parvathy! It is beyond the imagination of all those who knew Parvathy that the very relatives for whom she has slogged for many years would turn to be serpents – her mother, her younger brother and his wife, and the wicked aunty!  

This is what happens when old people become power crazy and ambitious and wicked!! We hear so much about the large youth population in the country but very soon the oldies will out number the youth!! Already several brands of incontinence diapers and old age accessories are filling the shelves of super markets!!

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My daughters exchange glances and suppress giggles when I talk about the “Liberty” shirt I bought for Rs.25/- for my wedding, and the hair cut which cost me just Re.1/-. The best pair of Bata shoes cost only Rs.45/-. And anyone earning income more than Rs.300/- per month paid income tax too! After the 1965 war against Pakistan, the Compulsory Deposit Scheme was also slapped on the poor tax payer!

Buying a car was an event in itself. Car production in India during sixties and seventies was much below demand and there was a waiting period of 3 years for an Ambassador car and over 12 years for a Premier Fiat. Fiat was much in demand especially in Bombay. The price of a new car was about Rs.20000 in early seventies but the premium for ready delivery was almost same amount as the price of the car. First time car buyers usually settled for a used car, cost of which would be about 80% of a new one if it was about 3-4 years old and in good condition. And petrol price was below Re.1/- per liter. But I remember the days when I was just a boy of eight or ten when my father used to fill up his Chevrolet’s tank at about Rs.2/- per gallon!! That is about 40 Paise per liter! I was fascinated to watch the tank being filled because, in those days, petrol pumps were manually operated and one could see the liquid gurgling out and emptying the glass container. Two one-gallon bottles fitted on top of the pump would get alternately filled and contents emptied in to the tank as the operator kept moving a handle to and fro! Quite some physical activity indeed!

Shaving blades were relatively expensive in those days and after each shave it would be carefully wiped of the moisture to avoid rusting because blades were not made of stainless steel as they are now. The blades were used for several shaves and before each shave the edges were sharpened using a rough concave glass surface. There was also a very innovative appliance (manufactured in England) available for sharpening the shaving razor blades. The appliance consisted of a frame and a carriage inside it. The blade is clamped in a holder which is placed inside the carriage. The carriage is moved to and fro within the frame and a whole lot of levers and cams allowed the razor edges to be softly rubbed against a leather-like substance and thus get sharpened. As a young boy, I used to find it a very interesting mechanism and played with it a lot because it was lying idle and no one was using it!

Most young men started smoking at an early age, as soon as they left school and joined college. I used to love the fragrance of tobacco a soon as the seal of a new cigarette tin was opened. And quite early in life I started pinching one or two cigarettes from my father’s 50’s cigarette tin. At the age of 18 I was a regular smoker.
There were no menacing warnings about the health hazards of smoking and no statistics waving Health Ministers going about punishing smokers in public places. In fact smoking was a fashionable habit and youngsters in colleges thought that it attracted attention from the fairer sex. One of the favorite places for indulging in change smoking for students was the cinema halls where smoking was not banned as yet. In Trivandrum, those days first class cinema ticket, equivalent of present day upper stall ticket, cost only 11 Annas (approximately Re.0.69) and a packet of Berkeley Cigarettes cost 5 Annas (Re.0.31). Thus in just one Rupee one could see a movie and smoke 10 cigarettes too!! With another half Rupee one could indulge in sumptuous refreshments too!!

India Coffee House on the Main Road (M.G. Road as it is called today) was a favorite haunt of college students in those days. Groups of students would sit around tables drinking cups of steaming coffee and on rare occasions eating potato chips or vegetable/mutton cutlets, furiously engaged in heated discussions on all subjects under the sun. The din of laughter and talking would sometimes reach such high pitch that the management would request the guests to keep the noise levels low.

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Those were the days when people’s needs were limited and when my father asked my mother what she wanted him to bring from Canada she simply said that she did not want anything and that she was only looking forward to his return. She would have prayed that her husband should not fall into some white woman’s trap and return with one in his arms! Ever since her elder brother married a lady from Scotland where he went for his studies in Engineering she was suspicious of all women of foreign origin!

My father used to write long letters to my mother and the children, explaining the wonderful sights in Canada and the luxurious lifestyles of ordinary citizens, the beauty of the snow-clad landscapes, how he missed the home food and so on. He sent us a view master with dozens of inserts fitted with films for viewing and ball pens of different colours, which were all novel to us. Knowing that I was crazy about bicycles he wrote to me that he would try and bring one for me if he was able to save enough from his allowance. We children were shocked to learn from his letters how much a cup of tea cost him, and how he decided not to have bed tea, which he was so particular about when he was at home! So I had very little hope that he would be able to save enough to get the bicycle for me!!

About a week before his homecoming, a close friend of my father came and informed my mother that he received a cable from my father saying that he had lost his brief case in a department store in Canada, while shopping for home coming! The bag contained all his savings and even the return air ticket and the passport. In those days it was very difficult to send any money abroad and my mother was in a fix. I do not know the sequence of events, but some how sufficient money was arranged for his return. On his way back to India he had to stop in London for whatever reason I do not know and it was there he managed to buy a brand new Bicycle for me.

The bicycle arrived about six weeks or two months after my father arrived. It was a dazzling Raleigh Sports bicycle with gleaming sports handle bar and cable brakes,areo dynamic front mud-guard 5-speed drive, sparkling rolling bell, Dynamo and light, Etc. etc. A beauty!!
It came in semi knocked down condition and my father assembled it for me. For 10 years I used it, till I left Trivandrum. My father was a simple person and to my knowledge he did not buy anything for himself during his one year stay in Canada. Other than the bicycle for me, he brought hardly anything of much value. It must have been a great sacrifice for him to buy the bicycle for me considering that he was practically penniless when he came to London and had to wait there for few days to receive the money sent from India.

Many years later when I wanted some money for buying an apartment in Bombay, he had no hesitation to give it to me though he did not have a lot to spare. He retired as Chief of a large Govt department and had many friends and some enemies during his working life. All he had when he retired was his Provident Fund savings. During his working life he did not have a bank account. He always stayed in Government quarters or the in the house my mother inherited from her father. He did not acquire any assets or build any house, which most people in similar position would have done. Every month he used to bring his salary home in cash, which he handed over to my mother. I t was entirely up to her how she spent the money. His only indulgence was cigarettes for which he would ask my mother to send the servants to go and bring

My father retired from Govt service in 1967 but even now, 40 years after his retirement, old and new employees of his erstwhile department talk of him with love and respect. His greatest quality as I see was his fearlessness. Whatever he did was out of conviction. He had helped a lot of people to come up in life and there was gratitude for him from a lot of people. His adversaries sometimes called him communal when it suited them but some of his best friends belonged to other communities and castes. When He passed away 23 years ago, lots of people came to the house to pay their respects. One of them was a rich Christian contractor whom my father had helped disregarding protests from many quarters. He could not control his emotions and wept loudly to the amazement of many people who had gathered.

During his service he had sometimes refused to cow tow the political bosses and did only whatever was the right thing to do. Once, a contractor who was very influential in political circles came to see my father with a bag full of one hundred rupees notes for getting a prestigious contract. My father fumed and practically threw him and the bag out of the house and told him never to approach him again. Weeks later a Central Govt Minister approached him on behalf of the contractor but my father did not budge, which caused bad blood between him and the political class.

Immediately after my father retired the contractor made several allegations against my father and he filed a case in the high court against my father for causing loss to him and to the department. My father was unmoved and replied to every allegation in the court and the judge exonerated him and passed severe strictures against the contractor and some others who colluded with him to tarnish the reputation of my father. Those were very difficult and stressful times for my father but he was unmoved and fought to the end.

My mother had inherited some landed properties from her parents. For some years after my father’s retirement he took charge of these properties, which resulted in improved income from them. However, with age he became frail and he found it difficult to cope with the strain and we decided to sell the properties, mainly because all the children who were the heirs to these properties lived outside the State. In order that we get a good price for the land he arranged to develop the land into small plots suitable for building houses with roads, drainage etc. At this point an influential political person who was the head of the Housing Board approached him with an offer to buy the entire property for a price, which was less that 10 percent of its real worth. My father promptly refused the offer but the politician was miffed and he wanted to take revenge. As soon as a few plots were sold, the Housing Board sprang to action. They declared that all our properties and a few small properties adjacent to ours were going to be acquired by the Housing Board and therefore no one should buy these properties. It seemed to be a gone case and we all felt very despondent. However my father filed a writ petition in the High Court to get a reasonable price for the land acquired, based on the market value. The court ordered the Housing Board to give us the market price, which was based on the price of plots sold prior to the take over by the Housing Board. The Board delayed the payments and some officials tried to black mail for bribes. So my father filed a second writ petition and the court ordered immediate payment with interest.

The sales proceeds were given to the children as per their share holdings. He had no interest in the money. But he was not a puritan either. He was very fond of Scotch whisky, which his friends used to supply to him regularly, even long after his retirement. He was a very special person and an unforgettable character for those who were close to him.

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Twenty years old, a first class graduate in Maths, having scored 100% in Maths Parvathy was a brilliant girl known as such to all her friends and her teachers. She was the pride of her school and college and her parents. She could have got admission to the MSc Maths course in any reputed University but due to family pressures she did not continue her studies, but sat at home waiting for a suitable boy to be chosen by her parents. She was not only very good in Maths, she was extremely good at languages too. Her command over English language written and spoken was superb. She had studied in an English medium school where she did not have to learn the vernacular. When she left school she did not know how to write or read, Malayalam, which is her mother tongue. But after leaving school her parents wanted her to take Malayalam as second language in college, because they felt that knowledge of Malayalam was necessary for her to communicate with the future mother-in-law who in all probability would not be speaking or writing English. From scratch she learned Malayalam and took her BSc degree in Maths with Malayalam as the second language. During the one year after her graduation and before her parents found a suitable boy for her she studied French language and started preparations for appearing for the Civil Service Exams, though it was only a half hearted effort, in case the parents failed to find a suitable boy!

Parvathy was beautiful and fair in complexion and belonged to an upper caste Nair family and her parents or her relatives never thought that there would be any difficulty in finding a suitable boy for her. She was very smart and learned driving at the age of seventeen and she was known as the only woman driver in the small town where she lived with her parents. Forty years ago, there were not many women drivers in Kerala. Parvathy learned driving because of her sheer enthusiasm and support from her father. As a child Parvathy played football and hockey with boys. Her teachers in school and college were full for praise and admiration for her abilities in studies. From early childhood Parvathy loved reading. She had a huge collection of books. She had also received many books as awards for top performance in school and college.

Parvathy grew up in luxury, carefree and happy and had no worries about the future. She and her parents were pretty sure that she would get a very eligible boy as her husband who would look after her. Parents of many boys showed interest in marrying their sons to Parvathy but due to their horoscope not matching with hers many of the proposals were rejected. Then a friend of her parents told them about a boy who was the son of a high ranking retired Government official who was an eligible bachelor employed in a foreign company in Bombay. Her father immediately wrote to the boy’s father and from thereon matters moved pretty fast and Parvathy got married to Vishnu within the next six months.

Vishnu was an average boy with average accomplishments but the fact that he belonged to a very reputed family outweighed all the other considerations, except that their horoscopes also matched well!! In the ordinary circumstances Vishnu’s qualities and accomplishments were far below the standards Parvathy’s parents had in mind and if Parvathy’s parents made detailed enquiries about Vishnu and his past, probably they would not have considered the proposal. However, Vishnu’s parents who first saw Parvathy and her parents were very impressed with Parvathy and her family and they immediately decided that this was the girl for Vishnu and speeded up the process for the marriage. The young Vishnu had a broken engagement only a year or two before and he had a couple of job changes too and he was generally going through a tumultuous period in his young life when Parvathy’s proposal came and his parents pushed it through with speed, lest some one should throw a spanner in the works!

Few days after the marriage Parvathy and Vishnu left for Bombay. Parting from her loving parents and family and starting on a new life with a man whom she hardly knew, was a painful experience but she bore it all very well. Vishnu had rented a one bedroom flat in Bombay, which by Kerala standards was too small for a family but in Bombay it was a luxury because the flat was situated in a very up market locality. Parvathy took to Bombay life with gusto. Before her marriage she never had to travel by buses or go to market for buying vegetables or ironing clothes but she did all these chores and occasionally did cleaning of the house or washing of the clothes when the maid did not turn up. Parvathy did all that without any complaint or grouse. She took charge of the entire household and took great pleasure in doing it. Parvathy used her spare time to go to a near by library and read books by the dozen.

Within about 5 years of her marriage to Vishnu, Parvathy had two daughters and life became more hectic for her. She took lessons in making dresses for the children and became an expert in making beautiful dresses for the children. The children were admitted to one of the best schools in Bombay and Parvathy took great care and interest in bringing up the two daughters. She learned baking delicious cakes and puddings, taking recipes from books borrowed from the libraries. She became a member of the British Council library where she used to spend two or three hours every week reading English newspapers and books on British Royalty!

With two growing up girls, the flat was too small for the family. But Parvathy never complained about the small size of the flat, where she lived the best part of her life looking after the comforts of the husband and the two daughters. Relatives of both Vishnu and Parvathy were visiting them frequently, and when the guests stayed with them, which happened frequently, Parvathy had to sacrifice her personal comforts to see that life went on smoothly. Parvathy used to cook delicious food, deserts and ice creams, which were highly appreciated by all the guests and family members

It was a great shock for Parvathy when her father, who was very close to her, passed away suddenly when she was only 28 years old. It was a great shock for Parvathy’s family because he was a tower of strength for the entire family. Her mother was absolutely incapable of running a household and soon it became necessary for her mother to sell their family house in Kerala and move to Bombay since Parvathy’s two brothers had not settled down properly by that time. Parvathy’s mother was used to a life of luxury from childhood, with servants attending to all her needs and it was difficult for her to adjust to living in a cramped apartment in Bombay. However Parvathy had to sacrifice a lot of comforts so that the children and the husband were not inconvenienced too much. To look after her mother and the little daughters, Parvathy had a living in servant from Kerala for doing all the household chores including cooking. But once the children were grown up and the elder daughter started going to college Parvathy did away with the services of the living in servant mainly due to lack of space in the house.

Unlike Parvathy who had a very sheltered childhood, Vishnu grew up with two brothers and three sisters in a big family with slack discipline and a carefree life style. The traditions and culture of the Malabar region where Parvathy belonged was different from those of the Travancore region of Kerala where her husband Vishnu came from. Even though Malayalam was the language spoken in both regions, the lingo was very different.
With marked differences in the cultures and lifestyles Parvathy had lot of difficulties in adjusting to the ways of Vishnu and his family in the beginning. No one in Parvathy’s family smoked or touched alcohol but Vishnu was practically a chain smoker in the early days of their marriage and loved to drink alcohol! Food habits were also quite different. But Parvathy took it all sportingly without complaints.

Vishnu’s brothers, sisters and brothers-in-law were all regular guests in their house and Parvathy was extremely hospitable to all. Many of Vishnu’s cousins, nephews and nieces were regular guests in Parvathy’s house and Parvathy never grumbled to look after any of them. Vishnu was travelling most of the time and Parvathy had to do everything by herself most of the time. Many times she had to travel long distance to the airport to receive or see off relatives, all by herself.

Her very pleasant nature, efficient working style, organising capacity, enthusiasm, sense of duty and intelligence made her a very special person and endeared her to her m-in-law and f-in-law. Vishnu’s parents loved Parvathy as much as their own their own daughters. After Parvathy’s father passed away and her mother shifted to live with her in Bombay she became closer to Vishnu’s parents. Vishnu’s parents also looked forward to the annual visits of Vishnu and Parvathy with their two daughters on holidays. Parvathy did not seem to regret that life had not been very smooth sailing for her and took great pleasure in all the little enjoyments that came in her way. She did not compare her life with other more fortunate and ostentatious women who took great pleasure in competing with others. She was always grateful that life was not much worse.

Parvarthy’s only regret was that she had gone out of her way to be helpful to others disregarding her own difficulties, but hardly any one showed any understanding of the difficulties she had to suffer. She was particularly sensitive about the fact that her mother had to be put up with her, in the small apartment in Bombay when she had other guest also from her husband’s family. Her wicked aunty was in and out of her house in Bombay all the time but wicked aunty was jealous of her because of Parvathy’s happy disposition. Her brother’s wife and her brother stayed in her house many times but their attitude was that it was her duty to look after their comforts when they visited Bombay. They never felt that there was need to reciprocate and when she once happened to stay with them her sis-in-law behaved in a very unruly manner, which made her decide that she would never again stay with them.

There was no appreciation from any quarters, that she had managed a household in a very efficient manner against many vicissitudes. Parvathy kept her good humour and sanity in the face difficult odds and made a comfortable life for the family and brought up her two daughters admirably and married them off to very eligible young men. She never showed any regret for the things denied to her but enjoyed the most whatever came her way. Unlike Parvathy, her husband Vishnu was not an achiever or ambitious. He was an average person with average achievements, nothing to write home about. But Parvathy never made him feel inferior for his lack of motivation for higher achievements nor complained about the things they did not have. Though she was aware of Vishnu’s limitations she never criticized him about his failures and always projected him as someone with superior faculties and achievements!

One wonders whether Parvathy’s life could be called a success or just a waste of talents and potential for great achievements? On the other hand if she chose to become a career woman instead of a homemaker would that have been a more satisfying life for her? That I think is a hypothetical question and the answer would also be hypothetical!

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One night Ram Sahib felt some uneasiness in the chest and he was taken to the hospital for a check up. After a series of tests the doctor told Ram Sahib’s wife that her husband must undergo a heart bypass operation immediately. The poor lady was all upset to hear this because her husband was hale and hearty until a few hours ago, and he had no past history of any illness.

When Ram Sahib heard the verdict of the doctor he said nothing doing, he did not want any operation performed on him. He and his wife had a long chat about it and consulted their son who was working in Calcutta. His son flew down from Calcutta and tried to persuade Ram Sahib for the operation. Ram Sahib would not budge and said he felt perfectly all right and wanted to be discharged from the hospital. Though the doctors said that he his arteries were in a very bad condition and could burst any moment Ram Sahib would not listen saying that it would be preferable to die suddenly than be a heart patient ever after and insisted on being discharged. Later he told me privately that he and his wife debated the issue and arrived at the decision against the operation because he could ill afford the hospital bills, though his son would not have had any difficulty to meet all the expenses. He said he had lived for 62 years and his children are all settled well in life and his wife could easily live a comfortable life for many years with his small savings and the pension she would receive until her death. This operation would break him financially and he would ever be dependent on his two sons. That was too much for him.

Later it proved that he had made the right decision because he lived a very active life for another 22 years without any health problem. At the age of 84 he complained of chest pain and during examination in the hospital he suffered a massive heart attack and died on the examination table itself!! That was one great man!!

Another friend of mine had a similar experience about 15 years ago. He had various problems like Hypertension, Diabetes, obesity, rheumatism etc. and on one of his routine check ups he was told by the heart specialist (after angiography examination) that he had a 95% blockage of the arteries and advised immediate heart bypass operation. In fact the doctor gave him not more than a month before he died, if he did not undergo the operation immediately! Like Ram Sahib he also opted against surgery. Now after 15 years (he is now 75) he is still living, with Hypertension, diabetes and all!!

Five years ago I felt some discomfort in the chest, during normal activities like walking or carrying weight etc. Immediately I went to my General Physician who told me that I had high blood pressure, probably caused by thickening of arteries etc. due to advancing age and a lot of other causes. He told me that I could consult a heart specialist for proper guidance. However, I told the GP that if I could avoid visiting the specialist I would prefer that. I told him that he could watch my situation for a couple of days or a week or so before I went to a specialist. The GP gave some medicines for the Hypertension and advised me to take Sorbitrate 10 mg tablets if I felt any pain or discomfort in the chest and keep in touch with him on a daily basis. Within a few days my Blood pressure was under control and the pain in the chest during normal activities also disappeared. The GP then told me that when I feel well I should take a Treadmill test also and then decide on further course of action.

However on the insistence of my close relatives I agreed to be taken to a heart specialist who asked me to take all the tests including the Treadmill test. Though I was not at all willing to take the TMT, my sisters and Brothers-in-law advised me to take all the tests and after getting expert opinion I could decide. I told them that I knew exactly what the specialist would say and that is the reason why I do not want to submit myself to all the tests! I was not in a fit condition but on their insistence I agreed for the TMT. After the test the specialist told me that I should undergo angio-graph test before a decision could be taken. I refused to take any such test and went back to my GP, who told me that since the specialist has advised angio-graph I must go for that. I refused to do so and told him that he can give me medication for my condition and see later if any other tests or treatment was necessary.

I have been taking medication to keep BP under control and regular exercise by way of about 40 minutes of walking for the past 5 years. I also do breathing exercise and now the dosage of medicine for high BP has also been reduced. I have not had any chest pain after that first time more than five years ago, and I think it was a good decision not to go for any invasive tests. If I were 20 years younger probably I would have gone for the angio-graph and the works but at 67 I feel a kind of peace when faced with death. I have a fairly comfortable life and do not wish to experience greater and greater joys of life anymore.

These days, specialists are subjecting patients to a series of expensive tests for any kind of illness. They say such tests are required to make sure that the treatment prescribed is correct. But the general feeling among the public is that these tests are prescribed either to make use of the machines and instruments already installed or for kick backs from the labs where the doctor advise you to go! Dear doctor I say it is immoral to subject a sick person to such expensive treatments without sufficient justification.

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In this world there are many adventurers, even in the business community. Out of hundreds of those who venture into business only a few become great successes. Others fade away, after becoming wiser and learning some lessons from the failures. Success is only for those who are able to feel the pulse of the market and act accordingly. Changing policies to suit changing market requirements is the formula for success. Even this rule is not without exceptions or conditions. Manufacturers are known to use different strategies to maximise the market share and profits. Take for example a cigarette maker who lowered the quality of a certain brand “X”, which was used by the higher end users and introduced a costlier premium top quality brand of cigarettes. Almost the entire top end users shifted to the new premium brand paying a higher price, and some users of the competitors’ brands also shifted to the new premium brand! The manufacturer gained in market share as well as price realisation!
Whenever a manufacturer introduces a “new” or “improved” product in the market it is generally observed that the quality of the existing product is lowered and the customer seeks to go in for the new or improved variety, paying higher price. I have experienced this in the case of shaving blades. That wonderful brand of blades, which I was using for several years suddenly, became blunt and scratchy and I could no longer continue with that. I had to change over to the premium brand sold at a higher price, which I thought was nothing better than the old brand of the past! But then the manufacturer has had his say!
I remember an interesting story told by a management consultant during one of those seminars organised by the company for which I worked for many years. There was this industrialist who wanted to do some useful service to the village near his hometown. He sent one of his officers to go there and recommend some project for the village. The officer asked several villagers what they would like to get from the industrialist. Almost everyone said that they wanted a community well because they faced acute shortage of water. The officer said that a well was such a stupid idea because the industrialist wanted to spend a large sum of money. After considering several options the officer recommended that a library and a reading room for the villagers would be most suitable because that would be in keeping with the status of the industrialist’s reputation. Soon architects and contractors were appointed and land for the library was purchased and work on the project started in full swing. The leaders of the village attended the inauguration and all praised the industrialist for his philanthropy. After about five years the industrialist happened to pass through the village, when he noticed that the reading room was in a bad shape of repair and practically no one ever used the room after the inauguration. Mainly vagrants used the building for sleeping at night and the compound was overgrown with grass and wild plants! It became clear to the industrialist that even charity should be given only to the needy and however well intentioned, the consumer will utilise any product or service even if it is provided free only if it fits in his list of priorities and not because you want him to use it.
You can go wrong in all your calculations if you think that the customer has no intelligence and that your superior skills can manipulate his preferences. These days consumer durables like washing machines have become part of middle class household. But the scenario some ten years ago was different. It was the “in” thing to have a maid do the washing of clothes. Today it is prestigious to have a maid to wash the clothes, because maids have become very expensive! Some twenty-five years ago there was practically no market for washing machines and a couple of manufacturers who ventured to manufacture the same did suffer also. So it would appear that the secret of success is in feeling the pulse of the market correctly and acting accordingly.

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Four years ago I bought a water purifier, which is well known in the market. The representatives are aggressive in selling. I only asked for the representative to just visit me for some information on the product. The same evening he came, bringing with him a water purifier, which I ended up buying after paying cash. Cash, because he said cheque is not acceptable and if I do not buy the purifier immediately, I may not be able to get another piece for ten or fifteen days till fresh stocks arrive.

The invoice for the purchase came by post after three months. It showed a discount of Rs.1000, and also payment terms as “Credit card”. Then I called up the Sales Manager to report the mistake, but he refused to speak with me and one of the assistants told me that it must be some minor error and that the price I paid was correct. Several times I tried to speak with the senior manager because there was clear proof of cheating, but he would not come on the phone saying he was busy! This behaviour infuriated me and when I threatened to report the matter to the police for cheating, one of the senior officers came running to my house and he tried to pacify me still sticking to the theory that there was some genuine mistake and there is no possibility of cheating and he promised to send the correct invoice. I received another invoice in which the price was corrected, but the terms remained “Credit card”, though I had paid cash. On contacting the company they again promised to correct the same but did nothing for over two weeks. By now I knew that there is no point in talking to these chaps and I contacted their Bombay office and reported the matter to the Managing director of the company. After that the local officers admitted that the representative was cheating me and that their MD has asked to sack the chap and do anything to assuage my feelings. The piece delivered to me had a cracked body, which the sales man sold to me at normal price and took the Rs.1000 discount for himself, or shared with others too. He sold it on some credit card and kept the cash I paid to him. Will anyone ever expect that an employee, with the support of others in his office would cheat a customer in this fashion?

My daughter bought a refrigerator of a reputed brand from an agent. When it was delivered there were chocolate wrappers and food stains inside the fridge and some scratch marks on the body. It was very obvious that the piece was not brand new but used one probably returned by some one because of defects. The agent tried his best to convince my daughter that it was a new piece and that one of his technicians must have left the chocolate wrapper inside the frig while testing the piece!! Anyway she insisted that the piece be taken back and money returned! You go for the best known product in the market and get cheated by the agents and franchisees of reputed manufacturers. This is happening all around us all the time but people are so busy they do not have the time and energy to go after these matters and pray to God for better luck next time.

Electronic products such as music systems, DVDs, Computers and such are the items on which there is lot of scope for cheating by unscrupulous agents. The service people (usually franchisees) may cheat you by charging exorbitantly for parts replaced (or not replaced). Recently the service agent for a well-known Japanese manufacturer of music systems demanded Rs.2000 from me for replacement of parts. The normal servicing charge is only Rs.300. In the last four years I have been spending on an average Rs.1500 per year on this music system, for replacement of parts and therefore I told them that I do not want to get it repaired any more and that I would report about this unsatisfactory service to their Japanese principals. Immediately the agent changed his colour and agreed to accept Rs.300 for the servicing. You can never say when you are being taken for a ride!

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